your parents love me but you hate me
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
