I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
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