Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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