i would punch a child for taco bell
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
This house was built for laser tag.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
