I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
