Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
