That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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