I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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