I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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