Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
