I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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