In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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