I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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