I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
