you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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