He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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