wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
