my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
