Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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