I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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