I'll bet she douches with gravy.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
