he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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