If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
