Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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