maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
