i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
