I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
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