also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
What a dumb baby whore.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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