I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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