Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize