This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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