at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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