Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
