She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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