Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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