either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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