he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So vagazzling was a success
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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