So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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