My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
we have pet lesbian snakes
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
