My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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