I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
