should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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