is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Porn is love you can see.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
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