i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
