Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize