i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
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Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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