OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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