I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
