my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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