if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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