I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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