im gay
i know
yea but for you.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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