i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
