I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
