my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
love makes seman taste better
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
