Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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