i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
