This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
soo... how was my night?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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