just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
