This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
