and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
